My Wife

            I have only mentioned my wife, Sabrina, in passing.  That will be rectified tonight.  Our being together is one of those complete fluke things.  We were both attending Del State (this is when it was still a college).  Sabrina was in the break/snack room in the lobby of the ETV Building and I stopped in to get a soda.  I have never been shy and, in shorts, she looked too good not to talk to.  I am lucky that I made it past the first few dates.  I missed our first date because something came up at my church and I just completely forgot about our plans.  The second date we were supposed to go out and I spent the entire evening playing with Anna.  (Quick note-Anna was 9 months old and I am the only Dad she has had because her bio-Dad denied Anna was his & then didn’t make the effort to have a relationship).  Sabrina says that the only reason I got a third date was because Anna really took to me.  That is all the background that is needed to set the stage.

            I believe that we get the person we need.  I tend to be a selfish person.  In balance, Sabrina is a very giving person and if she were not such a strong person-that would be a recipe for a horrible marriage.  I needed to be with someone who knew I was selfish and could handle it, even control it to a degree.  Sabrina was, and is, that person.  She is dedicated to the care of our family.  Her love, concern and sacrifice for our children is awe inspiring to me.  I love our children, but my demonstration of that love is lacking at times.  Sabrina is the living example of loving support that I need to help me be a better Dad.  When the children have to be disciplined, I tend to over-react and cause more trouble than originally existed with a problem.  Sabrina gently guides me to a point where I can (hopefully) help to improve the situation.  The level of understanding that Sabrina has of our children’s thoughts and motivations borders on side-show psychic.  The title, the job, that best defines Sabrina is Mom.  It also means the most to her.  I am lucky and thankful she has made the job of wife number 2. 

            I have watched Sabrina go through incredible heart break (that is a story for another day) and she comes through stronger than before.  She is like a diamond.  The pressure gives her incredible strength and beauty.  My fear is that like a diamond, her strength may also be marked by brittleness.  A blow from an unexpected angle may result in her shattering into a thousand pieces with no hope of ever putting her back together.  My inclination is to protect her from anything that may hurt her, but that doesn’t work.  What she needs is my love and support.  I can no more protect her from evil or hurtful situations than I can stop the rain from falling from the sky. 

            I have begun to make better, smarter choices that help to make her life better-more what she wants and needs.  I am trying to be less selfish.   I am trying to be the husband that she wants and needs.  Some days I do a great job.  Too often the example I give is how to be a bad husband..  The successes that I have in business, as a Dad, as a husband and even as a son occur more often because of the help, love, and guidance of my wife.  She deserves the best I have to offer.  Unfortunately, too often my best is lacking. 

            Sabrina, thank you for you love, patience and forgiveness.