Well here I am.  Ready to fill in some of the holes from the last post and still I have so much to share, so much to process that I know I won't be able to answer all the questions that may have come from that post.  It's my life and there are there are things that even I don't have the answer to when I am the only person that can give the answer. I'm older and wiser than I was a decade earlier and there is more that I don't know.  I think that as a person grows in wisdom, they grow in the knowledge that there is so much they don't know. 
    To get into the heart of the matter, my Father, who I respect(ed) more than I can express,  died 2 weeks after I was discharged from my last hospitalization.  The week immediately after my discharge my Mom's older sister died.  It's hard to express the loss I have in her passing.  She was always, always without fail a gentlelady.  She always presented herself in a way that would be a basis of respect and admiration before you even really knew her.  Once you knew her, you would see her personal presentation as a reflection of her personal morals and character.  The fact I had not seen her in well over a year before her passing is a failure on my part. I regret that failing.
    My father's passing a week later was both lessened and exacerbated by his sister-in-laws death. That is in no way a criticism or minimizing or my Aunt's passing.  It is the reality of exhaustion.  Be that exhaustion from physical of mental exertion - the exhaustion is the same. 
    I cannot begin to imagine the stress these deaths placed on my Mom. I can only hope that she has the support she needs.  Living 1,000 miles away greatly limits my ability to offer tangible support that will or can have significant help. My inability to give her the support she needs is a serious issue I am trying to address.
    I will never forget the moment I learned of my Father's death.  My son, James, had to give the call to tell me.  I could, can still, hear the pain in his voice as he told me. My father had been the foundation of my life....it was weakened with his diagnosis of dementia.  It completely crumbled with his death.  
    His example of character and morality did not evaporate with his passing.  It took me awhile to come to this realization.  The greatest idea he has given me is that actions are greater than intents/ideas. 

I'm going to have to end this here.  I never have more than a vague idea when I start my blog.  This one is bringing out a lot of emotions that I had not thought would be coming forth.  
I'll be back soon.  Sooner than I have more recently.

I'm Back. A Decade Later.

 Well, it's been a while.  Almost a decade.  Life happens.  I allowed my life to get in the way of my writing.  I lost contact with the release and connection to others that writing gives me.  I lost the chance and ability to have a more objective view at my own life. 
The last 10 months have been devastating and instructive.  3 June 2021 I had a stroke.  To be more accurate, now that we have a more complete picture, I had a seizure.  Then I fell and broke my skull in two places resulting in a stroke, and broke my left wrist (which necessitated surgery that gave me a titanium plate and 10 titanium screws in my wrist). I spent a week in ICU and 3 weeks in a rehab center.  I then spent 2 months sleeping 18 hours a day before being approved for a part-part time return to work.  I  argued for full-time but was denied. I can't remember a time I was happier to be wrong.  It was 3 more weeks before I close to being ready for full-time. I made it until 1 March 2022 when I had another seizure.  Bonus, it was identified as a seizure.  Then, the 3 June 2021 event was diagnosed as a seizure (which resulted in a stroke - it's complicated).  Only 3 days in the hospital that time.  But it did result in a few steps back in my stamina. Well it's a loss of stamina or the new meds for seizure prevention - or maybe both. Either way, I have to get more sleep than I did previously. 
I written about Anna before and she re-enters now.  Anna (my oldest daughter) and serendipity are closely assimilated in my life.  I moved to Alabama (yeah, I know this is new info but you'll have to wait for that information) at her request.  I was, and am, so happy to have move here to be closer to her.  I just didn't know it would save my life (and that's another story).  But here I am.  More to follow, giving some of the missing decade and important points of my life I am willing to share.  
If I may, please let me know what you think. Good, bad or indifferent. Are you glad I'm here/back or do you wish me dead.  I'd like to know.  No condemnation or judgement from me - let me know what you think. If nothing else, it helps me.