My Dad's Example

            Writing a blog is work.  I must write a new blog at least 2-3 times a week.   With that level of writing I need to write again, tonight.  Here goes nothing…okay I hope it’s not nothing, but you get the idea.

            My Dad was always involved in my life.  He was also involved in my big brother’s life.   Unfortunately I have 3 siblings.  I grew up with Tim.  I also have a half brother, Rex, and a half sister, Denise.  I didn’t know about my half-siblings until I was 16.  They just never came up in conversation.  My Dad had been married when he younger and the marriage didn’t make it.  His ex-wife got re-married rather quickly.  It was a different time-he gave up all rights so the new husband could adopt the children.  He did not have any contact with them until the early 90’s.  That was when I met my sister.  It must have been very awkward for her.  Meeting with the man, who is her biological father, for the first time in over 30 years and being introduced to her (half) brother.  She was very gracious.  Just a few years later she sent presents for my son’s birth-that was not too long after I met my (half) brother during a long week-end in New Orleans (Dad, me and all 3 siblings spent the week-end meeting and getting to know each other).  I regret I wasn’t able to establish a relationship with Rex & Denise that would allow us to become closer.

            Denise & Rex are good people, but they are troubled.  I don’t know if or how much of their issues are tied to my Dad.  He is a good man, and did what the times called for-it was a mistake.  It troubled him-it still does.  I know he would have been a good father to them. 

            Their contact with my Dad has been sporadic.  He gets a call on his birthday from Denise.  A card a couple of times a year.    I know it pains him.  I have learned from his mistake.  Of my many failings as a Dad, I have always made to be involved in my kid’s lives.  Of course staying married to their Mom has helped that.  I attended more baseball and softball games then I can remember.  I have listened to lessons on anime.  And I have played more games of pokemon than anyone over the age of 35.  I didn’t care for any of those activities, but I loved the time and connection with my kids.