Hello there stranger! It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you. Yes, I know it’s my fault, but it’s nice to see you all the same. With that in mind, here we go…
My blog is titled, “My Life as a Dad, Husband & Son”. One of those is completely involuntary. One is semi-voluntary. One is completely voluntary. Recently I have become aware that I have that I have not been the husband that I should have been for my wife. I am a selfish person. I have known this for quite some time, but I didn’t realize just how selfish I have been. My selfishness has been hurtful to my wife and to our marriage. This saddens me more than I can say. I have an unfortunate tendency to do what I want. I listen to what my wife wants or needs and then I do what I want with little or no consideration to her. Sometimes this is in small matters and other times rather important matters. I make things worse by not communicating well with my wife. This is a recipe for a failed marriage.
I hope and pray that I am not too late to save it, to rebuild it. I know that I will have to make material changes to how I treat, behave and react to my wife and my children. I have to fight to stop myself from opening my mouth and saying what has come naturally for years. I have to open my mouth and say the things that have not come naturally for years. I have to be patient. I have spent years doing harm and it will take quite some time to undo that damage. I will have to take a step back and let my wife find her way. I will have to re-build the path that leads to us and pray that she is willing to walk back down a path that caused her pain in the past. I will have to hope that there are enough good memories to make that journey worthwhile, desirable even.
No matter how this turns out, I will always regret the path I set for my wife and our marriage. It is my failure, now I offer this prayer.
